DAY 3
The dream-meditation is absolutely fantastic!
If you try it, please share with me your experiences…
It was the last thing I did last night before falling asleep and it my state of mind was completely new this morning. Most of my day was led in a non-judgemental way, simply observing myself and my surroundings.
I’ve been struggling with visualisation today though, and so I will read a few chapters of a book that never fails to inspire me: “Creative Visualisation” from Shakti Gawain
See you tomorrow,
Best in Health,
Perfect Health
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
starting a new routine for awareness
DAY 2
Today was quite an introspective day, but I started a healthy routine that I hope will put me in a good place once I keep it up.
My morning was basically astanga yoga, breakfast, meditation, gym.
I have been wanting to start a yoga home practice forever –and I finally did! It’s a really demanding form of yoga, but I didn’t go through the whole primary series. I only did a couple of poses after the sun salutations. This, just as the rest of my life, is a process…. I I will do a little more every day and build up my strength and stamina and get better at it at my own rhythm.
I’ve been struggling with self-esteem (lack of self-love) issues for a very long time. It is probably safe to say that my lack of self-esteem is one of the major causes of my IC. So my mornings are basically dedicated to changing that.
1. The yoga calms my mind and gives me more body awareness… (not to mention a toned body). This is key in learning how to listen to my body, and what it is suggesting that I need. I am getting better at reading the signals, but I am sometimes unfortunately still resistant to them. For exemple, I know that if I smoke a cigarette, I suffer from it immediately. Yet, I still do it from time to time. This is quite puzzling, when I spend so much money on the treatment, and when I can be so disciplined with my diet, my supplements and with keeping all other toxins out of my life. I even buy organic food and cleaning products. Perhaps one could say that those are not addictive, but I have a really strong will. It is something else –I know that it has something to do with self-sabotage and I am getting to the heart of it. I am also looking forward to understand the more subtle signs…
2. The time I spend in meditation is when I can create a space for observing my thought patterns, and when I am fully relaxed, I can work on suggesting different ones to my mind. Relaxing didn’t come easily to me – it is/was part of my character to always need to be “doing” something. When someone suggested relaxing, I usually just rolled my eyes and thought : “relaxing is for loosers”. Putting myself under an incredible amount of pressure, to perform, to succeed… is also part of why I have IC. So I am learning to let go. I meditate several times a day, each time differently. Sometimes, I have to meditate spontaneously, when strong emotions come to the surface. When this happens, I immediately drop everything, lie down and make sure I connect with them, and allow myself to feel them. Before, I didn’t allow negative emotions any place in my life. Everything just got repressed. Negative emotions were not something that were part of the “perfect me” that I was striving to be.
Sometimes, I just meditate on my breath, clearing my mind. Sometimes, I allow myself to “be” with my organs, and give them space to tell me what I need to know (this, I have to do more, as they didn’t say much :-)
Other times, after my mind gets really quiet, I can feel that my body falls asleep a little and then I begin to visualise and say my affirmations out loud.
Today, I started a meditation called the “dream-meditation”. You can download it from Deepak Chopra’s website for free. They suggest doing it before going to bed, so that will be the very last thing I do today.
The “dream-meditation” basically consists in replaying in fast-forward your day, and observing yourself doing all you did, without judging yourself. The benefits are more awareness in general, and on the longer term, connecting with that awareness to consciously make the choices that are for your higher good. This, I thought was really interesting and I will be sticking to it. As I just started it today, I will give it some time before I report on my results.
3. Going to the gym always elevates my mood and if I keep it up, feeling good in my body will help me gain more self esteem as well. Two years ago, I started getting pain in my knee when I ran longer than 10 minutes. Another “unlikely” symptom related to IC. This truly devastated me because it was my favourite exercise to blow of steam and because there seemed to be no cause for it (and I went to many specialist to hear once again “that it is all in my head”). Lately, I have seen some improvement… I can run much longer although I don’t dare push my limits too much, in fear of feeling the pain and getting depressed by it. Today I walked quickly, gradually increasing the elevation of the treadmill and did some abs and arm exercises I got from Joey Atlas. Ladies, if you want to get into shape, Joey really has some great tips!!
---
I worked some, but not much. The rest of my day was taken over by cooking and freezing soup and spending time online, trying to find Goldenseal root from Eclectic Institute. I finally had to settle for another brand, arg, iherb is still out of stock.
Some improvement on my skin has given me hope that this detox-related acne will not leave ravaging scars on my face. I’m keeping up my routine of lemon juice toner and honey masks several times a day.
That’s all for today…
Talk to you tomorrow,
Hugs,
Perfect Health
Today was quite an introspective day, but I started a healthy routine that I hope will put me in a good place once I keep it up.
My morning was basically astanga yoga, breakfast, meditation, gym.
I have been wanting to start a yoga home practice forever –and I finally did! It’s a really demanding form of yoga, but I didn’t go through the whole primary series. I only did a couple of poses after the sun salutations. This, just as the rest of my life, is a process…. I I will do a little more every day and build up my strength and stamina and get better at it at my own rhythm.
I’ve been struggling with self-esteem (lack of self-love) issues for a very long time. It is probably safe to say that my lack of self-esteem is one of the major causes of my IC. So my mornings are basically dedicated to changing that.
1. The yoga calms my mind and gives me more body awareness… (not to mention a toned body). This is key in learning how to listen to my body, and what it is suggesting that I need. I am getting better at reading the signals, but I am sometimes unfortunately still resistant to them. For exemple, I know that if I smoke a cigarette, I suffer from it immediately. Yet, I still do it from time to time. This is quite puzzling, when I spend so much money on the treatment, and when I can be so disciplined with my diet, my supplements and with keeping all other toxins out of my life. I even buy organic food and cleaning products. Perhaps one could say that those are not addictive, but I have a really strong will. It is something else –I know that it has something to do with self-sabotage and I am getting to the heart of it. I am also looking forward to understand the more subtle signs…
2. The time I spend in meditation is when I can create a space for observing my thought patterns, and when I am fully relaxed, I can work on suggesting different ones to my mind. Relaxing didn’t come easily to me – it is/was part of my character to always need to be “doing” something. When someone suggested relaxing, I usually just rolled my eyes and thought : “relaxing is for loosers”. Putting myself under an incredible amount of pressure, to perform, to succeed… is also part of why I have IC. So I am learning to let go. I meditate several times a day, each time differently. Sometimes, I have to meditate spontaneously, when strong emotions come to the surface. When this happens, I immediately drop everything, lie down and make sure I connect with them, and allow myself to feel them. Before, I didn’t allow negative emotions any place in my life. Everything just got repressed. Negative emotions were not something that were part of the “perfect me” that I was striving to be.
Sometimes, I just meditate on my breath, clearing my mind. Sometimes, I allow myself to “be” with my organs, and give them space to tell me what I need to know (this, I have to do more, as they didn’t say much :-)
Other times, after my mind gets really quiet, I can feel that my body falls asleep a little and then I begin to visualise and say my affirmations out loud.
Today, I started a meditation called the “dream-meditation”. You can download it from Deepak Chopra’s website for free. They suggest doing it before going to bed, so that will be the very last thing I do today.
The “dream-meditation” basically consists in replaying in fast-forward your day, and observing yourself doing all you did, without judging yourself. The benefits are more awareness in general, and on the longer term, connecting with that awareness to consciously make the choices that are for your higher good. This, I thought was really interesting and I will be sticking to it. As I just started it today, I will give it some time before I report on my results.
3. Going to the gym always elevates my mood and if I keep it up, feeling good in my body will help me gain more self esteem as well. Two years ago, I started getting pain in my knee when I ran longer than 10 minutes. Another “unlikely” symptom related to IC. This truly devastated me because it was my favourite exercise to blow of steam and because there seemed to be no cause for it (and I went to many specialist to hear once again “that it is all in my head”). Lately, I have seen some improvement… I can run much longer although I don’t dare push my limits too much, in fear of feeling the pain and getting depressed by it. Today I walked quickly, gradually increasing the elevation of the treadmill and did some abs and arm exercises I got from Joey Atlas. Ladies, if you want to get into shape, Joey really has some great tips!!
---
I worked some, but not much. The rest of my day was taken over by cooking and freezing soup and spending time online, trying to find Goldenseal root from Eclectic Institute. I finally had to settle for another brand, arg, iherb is still out of stock.
Some improvement on my skin has given me hope that this detox-related acne will not leave ravaging scars on my face. I’m keeping up my routine of lemon juice toner and honey masks several times a day.
That’s all for today…
Talk to you tomorrow,
Hugs,
Perfect Health
Monday, April 19, 2010
DAY 1
Hello everyone,
Welcome to my blog and thank you for joining me on my two month journey towards health!
It is going to be an adventure, one which I hope will kick some IC butt!
IC is the diminutive for “Interstitial Cystitis”, an illness that is not very well known, and when it is, usually misunderstood. There are many definitions of IC on the internet, but for me, IC means:
8 years of my life
Pain and physical degeneration
Feeling misunderstood
Feeling incurable
Fearing of loosing my reason to live
Wanting to end my life
Feeling lost and helpless
Anxiety
Since I met Dr. Matia Brizman in June of 2008, IC still means some of those things, but mostly, I have discovered that my disease is a blessing in disguise. I started my treatment with Matia knowing that she would be the right doctor for me, but could only hope that I was going to be an easy case to heal. It so happens that I was/am not. Little did I know at the time, that my healing would bring me to the depths of my soul and that it would involve self-discovery and especially, self-love. Because of IC, I embarked on a journey that was necessary for growth, but one which I probably would have never known had I not had this illness.
When I think of IC these are some of the things that come to my mind:
Fighter
Strenght
Hope
Compassion
Open up to others
Healing
Journey
Patience
Self-Love
Self-Discovery
Etc.
My treatment now consists of taking supplements 3 times a day, keeping toxins very low in my life and eating balanced meals (diet list no.3). What we are trying to do, I believe, is to kill the unwanted bacteria in my body, thus creating a balanced environment in which my body can heal itself.
Now I know… 56 days seams like a very short time to heal completely or perhaps a random goal to have. “56 days” is the amount of time I have to completely focus on myself and my health. On one hand, I could be upset not to have more work at the moment, but deep down, I know that I have been asking for this: an opportunity to really concentrate on my health.
So I am grateful for these next 56 days –there is much I want to achieve!
The goal is to spend my days in total awareness and holding the knowing that I am healing, without letting doubt enter my mind. I am also using this opportunity to discover more about the power of my mind and I will be exploring visualisation more seriously and sharing my results with you. I will still be working daily, but most of my day will be spent in meditation, exercising, eating right, visualisation and doing the things that feel right.
My main issue is probably self-sabotage. There is still something in me that is preventing me from achieving my goals, experiencing happiness, living my life to the fullest, etc.
This, is what I wish to meet face to face.
Again, I thank you for reading and being part of my healing. You are very welcome to leave comments or questions…
I will be back tomorrow,
Big Hug,
Perfect Health
Hello everyone,
Welcome to my blog and thank you for joining me on my two month journey towards health!
It is going to be an adventure, one which I hope will kick some IC butt!
IC is the diminutive for “Interstitial Cystitis”, an illness that is not very well known, and when it is, usually misunderstood. There are many definitions of IC on the internet, but for me, IC means:
8 years of my life
Pain and physical degeneration
Feeling misunderstood
Feeling incurable
Fearing of loosing my reason to live
Wanting to end my life
Feeling lost and helpless
Anxiety
Since I met Dr. Matia Brizman in June of 2008, IC still means some of those things, but mostly, I have discovered that my disease is a blessing in disguise. I started my treatment with Matia knowing that she would be the right doctor for me, but could only hope that I was going to be an easy case to heal. It so happens that I was/am not. Little did I know at the time, that my healing would bring me to the depths of my soul and that it would involve self-discovery and especially, self-love. Because of IC, I embarked on a journey that was necessary for growth, but one which I probably would have never known had I not had this illness.
When I think of IC these are some of the things that come to my mind:
Fighter
Strenght
Hope
Compassion
Open up to others
Healing
Journey
Patience
Self-Love
Self-Discovery
Etc.
My treatment now consists of taking supplements 3 times a day, keeping toxins very low in my life and eating balanced meals (diet list no.3). What we are trying to do, I believe, is to kill the unwanted bacteria in my body, thus creating a balanced environment in which my body can heal itself.
Now I know… 56 days seams like a very short time to heal completely or perhaps a random goal to have. “56 days” is the amount of time I have to completely focus on myself and my health. On one hand, I could be upset not to have more work at the moment, but deep down, I know that I have been asking for this: an opportunity to really concentrate on my health.
So I am grateful for these next 56 days –there is much I want to achieve!
The goal is to spend my days in total awareness and holding the knowing that I am healing, without letting doubt enter my mind. I am also using this opportunity to discover more about the power of my mind and I will be exploring visualisation more seriously and sharing my results with you. I will still be working daily, but most of my day will be spent in meditation, exercising, eating right, visualisation and doing the things that feel right.
My main issue is probably self-sabotage. There is still something in me that is preventing me from achieving my goals, experiencing happiness, living my life to the fullest, etc.
This, is what I wish to meet face to face.
Again, I thank you for reading and being part of my healing. You are very welcome to leave comments or questions…
I will be back tomorrow,
Big Hug,
Perfect Health
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